When looking up malcontent online, a number of definitions are available, all centering on someone who is unhappy. For example, The Oxford Dictionary defines malcontent as "a person who is dissatisfied and rebellious."
What would the world be like if we didn’t come across grumpy people? Well, it would be like heaven…perfect! Grumpy/malcontent people can teach us how to bring out the best in ourselves. If we learn from them, we can excel in life and get to a place of peace, our own heaven on earth.
Our industry is such a beautiful, caring, healing one; we are important to our world. We bring love, light, healing, joy and peace to everyone we touch, especially the ones who are riding that negative vibe in life. What’s the best way for us to deal with grumpy troublemakers, complainers or energy vampires as I like to call them (the ones who suck the life out of you and leave you drained!)? Well, first it all starts with ourselves.
Like Attracts Like
Whatever we think the most of is what we attract. It’s the whole "law of attraction," or the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. Regardless of age, nationality and religious belief, we are susceptible to the laws which govern the universe, including the law of attraction. The law of attraction uses our powerful mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materializes them into reality.
Basically, all thoughts turn into things eventually. If you focus on doom and gloom, you will remain under that dark cloud. If you focus on positive thoughts and have goals, you will find a way to achieve them with a massive amount of action. It truly is incredible, and I see this every day with myself and my clients.
Redirect Negative Into Positive
When my clients are grumpy and want to tell me how terrible traffic was before they arrived at the spa, they are focusing on what was and not what can be. That creates the energy of more of the same. I tell them, let that go. You are here now to enjoy such a healing spa service. Focusing on what you want to have happen and not what has will shift your life into the most amazing positive ride you can imagine.
Plus, when we deal with a client who is grumpy/challenging and let their grumpiness ruin our day, we aren’t doing much to elevate our own selves to achieve joy. We are holding ourselves back from happiness. It is in our best interest to look for the good in our clients and redirect them from their unhappiness to a more joyful vibe.
Empathize But Don't Feed Negativity
We are most helpful to our clients if we understand their pain but don’t feed into it. Our clients are spending time with us to relax and heal. Fueling their conversation of grumpiness is not good for their wellbeing. This negativity takes away from their service, and a spa is the least negative environment to be in.
One of my favorite quotes is the following from Esther Hicks, "Everyone thinks they’re right. So, the question isn’t who’s right or who’s wrong. The question is, who is most allowing? And whose life is really going the best, most of the time?2
I often tell my daughters when they argue with each other, :Girls, would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?"
Make Decisions Out of Love
Ever since I have incorporated the law of attraction into my life, I have seen the most accelerated positive changes in every aspect. For my health, my daughters, my spa and employees, it has been a firestorm of amazing pure source. This pure source I like to call God has ignited everyone around me, excelling to always wanting the best and letting go of fear.
I believe we make decisions based out of love or fear. When we make a decision out of love, we are on our path and life falls into place easier. Life flows easier and love is the highest vibration so it attracts the most positive energy bringing us the most beautiful gifts in life, from people, partners, health, clients, careers, families, etc.
Fear is the lowest vibration and brings us nothing but misery. Fear holds us back from attaining our dreams. Our brains are trained to think negative. We have the power to retrain our brains and see the positive in our daily interactions, especially with clients. The more we come from a place of seeing the good, the more our lives start to change for the better.
I always like to ask myself, "Does this inspire you or tire you?" The Emotional Guidance Scale helps me to manage my emotion
The following facts on negative thinking will inspire you to start redirecting your thoughts to have the most amazing life! Did you know when we think a negative thought it comes out in our body language? Someone that is prone to being malcontent will feel tempted to mirror that.
“What you think (and how you feel because of your thoughts) and what manifests in your experience always match. You get what you think about, whether it is something wanted or unwanted.” ~ Abraham-Hicks2
Negative thinking is a survival strategy that causes us to look for what is wrong so we can protect ourselves against danger but this strategy is bad because our thoughts create reality.3
A study showed worry negatively effected a person's work efficiency. Subjects were required to sort things into two categories. People who reported that they worry 50% of the time or more showed a significant disruption in their ability to sort objects as the difficulty of the sorting task increased.4
Another study found that cynical men had a much higher risk of heart attack and stroke.5 The combination of cynicism and hostility is a double dose that negatively impacts your telomeres (end caps of our DNA strands, which causes us to age more quickly.) Those who have high levels of cynical hostility will suffer from depression, have higher levels of cardiovascular disease, metabolic disease and die at younger ages.
According to the University College London in the U.K. avoiding hostility will add years to your life.6 Telomeres are responsible here, resulting in hostile thought see to shorten cellular structures leading to premature aging of cells and you.
Another study on pessimism and telomere length, researchers found that pessimism in both men and women was linked to poor health and shorter telomeres; when pessimists developed cancer or heart disease, the sickness progressed faster ending an earlier death.7 Stress from negative thinking creates changes in the brain that may affect your likelihood of mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, schizophrenia and mood disorders.
The problem is that our brains are good at learning from bad experiences but bad at learning from good experiences. Poorly managed negative emotions are not good for your health. Negative attitudes and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness can create chronic stress, which upsets the body’s hormone balance, depletes the brain chemical required for happiness and damages the immune system.
Make Each Day Beautiful
We all have challenges in life from work, relationships, money, families, etc. It’s in how we handle them and are able to grow through it. Are we learning what we don’t want so we know what we do want? Do we know our self-worth, and how special we truly are to ourselves and to others? We are all in this world togethe,r making each day more beautiful than yesterday. I wish for you all to have the most amazing incredible life because you certainly deserve it.
1. Excerpted from North Los Angeles on 8/7/05 Esther (Abraham and Jerry)